Creating Coral Castles

Everyday Wonder #3 - Finding creative flow in the small moments

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Everyday Wonder is a new series that will wind through A Life of Wonder, a glimpse of the small moments of wonder I find in everyday life.

Sitting on the grainy white sand at what we have affectionately named “Pirate Beach,” my four-year-old was begging me to play. I did not have the energy for sword fights and walking the plank, nor did building sandcastles with digger scoops appeal to me, but one thing this beach does have is an abundance of coral. ‘Let’s collect coral’, I suggested. It’s something we often do to take home and make mobiles with driftwood and twine to decorate the house with. But on this day, with a pile of coral in front of me, a recollection surfaced, me playing with my older sisters on the beach as we made houses for the water sprites out of whatever was around. Almost by muscle memory, I found myself starting to create a castle out of the coral, stacking pieces on top of each other, carefully interlocking them to build the castle taller. I didn’t realise just how absorbed I had gotten until Sonny’s digger scoop almost knocked down the back wall and I felt a surge of annoyance and protectiveness over my creation.

With my warning given and heeded we kept going, Sonny helping me to collect more coral, seaweed and shells, but also playing his own game around me. The two of us worked side by side until it was complete.

There is nothing quite as luxurious, I have discovered, as being on the beach on a Saturday morning, completely absorbed in creating a castle of coral. When I reflect back on this moment, I see I was in a true state of presence and flow.

As adults, it’s so easy for our ‘play’ to become serious. Usually when I’m creating I need alone time and space. When I write I need peace, I feel anxious if I haven’t had a chance to put my thoughts into words for days. If I’m making something with my hands or using my mind to create worlds with words I can be in flow but there is still a certain pressure on myself. There is the pressure to make something ‘good’ but also the need to be separate from what is happening around me, so I can be completely immersed. This is in no way bad. Having time to myself engrossed in things that light me up and activate so many parts of me, is a much-needed part of life. But there is also something missing in this way of creating.

It is easy to draw a line with creativity, to give it certain spaces, places and ways it needs to be done. It’s easy not to get too engaged with something that seems ‘pointless’. To spend the best part of an hour focusing on trying to create a house with a roof made entirely out of coral for the water sprites, something that will either be pushed over by overly enthusiastic kids or collapse into the rising tide is pointless in so many ways. I can’t take it home with me, or sell it, or do anything with it really. It’s for the water sprites!

But the true magic of this ‘pointless’ creating is in the way it grounds me in the present moment. It’s a tiny act of rebellion against the constant pressure to be productive.

The simple act of sitting on the beach and stacking coral together not only grounded and soothed me, but also allowed an opportunity for connection and enjoyable ‘play’ with my child. He got to see my imagination at work, observe my state of flow, and the possibilities simple bits of coral can inspire and create.

I can look back with reflection and see all the benefits of me spending that time on the sand, make a list of sorts as I’ve done above, of my time balancing coral together with fevered concentration, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to the fact that I was simply enjoying myself. What a treat that is as a mother, to just do something enjoyable with my children because there is nothing else to be doing, and what a gift for my son, to not only watch me in my flow but to be a part of it and connect with me in creativity.

What are some things you can get into a state of flow with while including your children?

The ideas I share in A Life of Wonder come mostly from my own lived experience of being raised in a home full of imagination and wonder, my experiences parenting two boys and having 13 nieces and nephews. There are many wonderful books and blogs out there that talk about the science behind a lot of these things, but what A Life of Wonder offers is a practical guide, simple steps that can be easily integrated into your everyday life. You don’t need to be a full-time stay-at-home mum, buy certain games or toys, or live in a certain place to create a life of wonder for your children and yourself.

The Slow Walk

The Language of Wonder