The ocean in his veins
Everyday Wonder #5 - Allowing time to grow
My oldest son could snorkel before he could swim properly. It took him a long time to overcome his fear of putting his face underwater, but the mask and snorkel helped him overcome that. Once he finally worked up the courage to dip his face in with the safety of the glass lens, he was hooked. We watched him take off, his confidence soaring as he let go of our hands and took off on his own under the sea adventures. For a while it was all he wanted to do, then one day he decided the sea was too choppy and all of a sudden, even on the calmer days, his interest began to wane, his joy taken over by an unnamed fear.
In the meantime, he learned to dive down to the bottom of pools with his goggles on and swim underwater in the safety of the calm known, but something was stopping him from exploring the ocean as he used to. As hard as it was for me, I tried not to push him. The mask and snorkel were taken to the beach every day and offered up but never taken hold of, that was until a few days ago. With the change of beach and the discovery of a tiny tidal cove, Sonny’s interest was peaked. I asked him if he wanted to go in, he refused but tried to order me into picking up pieces of sea glass he could see through the clear water while perched on a rock above. At first, I acquiesced, letting him direct me to the green sand-rounded glass stuck between pebbles. But after five minutes I told him that he would have to come in himself if he wanted more. At first, he stayed sitting, still like a sea eagle, observing his prey in the reef-lined cove. But after a few minutes, he could no longer resist, the urge to explore was too strong and he put on his mask and snorkel I had left in his view hanging over a rock.
He stood on the pebbled shore and then bent his head into the water, with the next wave he kicked he pushed his body out into the water and was off. The pool was only small but was filling up with the incoming tide. I kneeled in the water ready to catch him if the drag of the outgoing waves tried to suck him over the reef. I held my hands out to let him know I was there if he needed but he ignored them. To see his small frame sliding through the water like a seal filled my whole body with love for this creature. The water surged around him, the building wind causing a slight chop, white caps broke over the top of him and where once that would have been an instant end to his adventure, this time it did not phase him in the least. I offered out my hand again to take the collection of sea glass and shells he had in his but he pushed it away, instead swimming to the shore and climbing up the rocks to put them in his cotton netted bag. As he clambered up the steep rocks, mask sitting on his forehead, the sun hit his golden skin and all of a sudden it wasn’t a four-year-old up there emptying treasure into a sack, but a young man, so full of purpose and confidence completely at home in the ocean landscape. He turned to me and grinned, his face filled with a pride in himself that matched my own. He climbed steadily back down the rock face and launched back into the water without a word. My heart almost broke at how perfect he was and how much I adored him with every fibre of my being.
There was a time only weeks before when the fear of him not loving the ocean anymore crept up on me. What should I do? What is he scared of? How can I fix this to bring him back to something I knew he loved? The answer was, as it so often is, let him be. Give him time. Allow for opportunities but do not push. This lesson was brought home to me as I watched him swimming around in his own private world that day. Although he had not snorkeled for almost three months, in his own time he came back to it with more confidence and love than before. A lesson for all of us, sometimes stepping back is just allowing more room to grow.Â
 When have you had to step back to allow room for your children to grow? Has it come naturally or been a difficult thing to master?
These are the moments of motherhood to bottle and you have done that so beautifully Tansie. Yesterday, my daughter asked to take her training wheels off her bike. I said sure thinking she would ask for them back on in a matter of minutes, as she has done in the past, but then... she just glided. It happened! She spent the day riding up and down and around our house with this new found sense of accomplishment and pride. I was humbled and in awe. All it takes is time. 🥹
This is such an emotive read Tansie. I felt like was there with you and found myself tearing up at points 🩵